Your self-esteem is your opinion of yourself.  It’s not dependant on whether you are short or tall.  It depends on how you feel about being short or tall.  It can even depend on your definition of where short stops and tall begins.

These judgements that we make about ourselves (and often others as well) are the foundation of our self-esteem.  Have you heard the Bible saying… “Judge not least ye be judged?”  It doesn’t only apply to religion, God, or your neighbors judging you.  It also applies to how you judge yourself.

One way to quickly improve your self-esteem is to learn to love and accept others.

The more you can let go of your judgements toward other, the less strongly you will judge yourself.

When it comes to self-esteem though, we usually have a double standard.  It was fine for my friends to take home “C”s on their report cards.  It didn’t make me think any less or more of them, or change the amount I valued their friendship.  But for myself, I felt anything less than an “A” was not acceptable!

You may look in the mirror and see flaws in yourself that no one else will ever notice.  You might not even notice the same flaw in someone else. But when you look at yourself you judge even more harshly.

Once you learn to accept and forgive others, then it’s time to work on accepting and forgiving yourself.

One way to help change those patterns is to sit down and make fun of yourself.  I read a dating article once that suggested you start out by writing and anti-dating ad for yourself.  Think about all the horrible dating mistakes you have made in the past, the worst people you have attracted to you, the problems you have over and over again.  Then write out a singles profile that details that person or relationship that you are used to be attracting.

Mine might look like:

Divorced mother of 2 looking for a 3rd child.  If you are unemployed and would be willing to exchange an occasional roll in the hay for room and board you should contact me immediately.  Additional benefits available at the drop of a hint…

Reading that add is kind of funny. It makes me look at my past relationsihps in a totally different light.  It may be slightly exagerated, but aren’t those very exagerations part of the problem we have with low self-esteem.

Whatever you feel your greatest flaws are, try writing a ad for them.  Sell that pimple and all the problems it’s going to cause you… or the extra pounds… or the silly mistakes… or the shyness.  Once you see how ridiculous your insecurities sound when you put them out there like this their hold on your emotions will diminish.

Once you can laugh at yourself and your flaws you can begin to see that they are not the end of the world and move on.

Change What You Can. Accept What You Can’t.

I’m not saying that either one of us is perfect.  I have my flaws, and I’m sure you do too.  Some of those things can be fixed.

Hating yourself is not necessary to make changes.  You can diet as easily because you love yourself and want to be good to your body… to give it the good healthy food it needs, and to get enough exercise to keep all your internal systems working as you can by hating yourself and punishing yourself by going to bed without dinner! In fact, loving yourself might be the key to sticking with your diet.

No matter what kind of problems you have, you can learn to accept yourself in spite of them.  You would do this for your mother, your sister, your daughter, your best friend.  So why is it so hard to do it for yourself?

If there is something you still want to change, even after accepting yourself with that quality, then it’s time to do what you can.  I can’t get taller.  Maybe I could wear high heels.  I may not be able to lose weight, but I can eat healthier, exercise, and probably have more health and energy as a result.

I can change the way I think about being short and curvy.  I can start appreciating other people with the same body type, and try to imitate the fasions, postures, and other habit they have that I notice work for them.  If I do this instead of tring to dress like a tall thin person, I may even become more attactive to others as well as feeling better about myself.

I hope these thoughts will help you to find better ways of thinking about yourself as well.