Why can’t gay couples get married like anyone else? It’s taken me a long time and a lot of thought to finally sort it out for myself. I want to be in favor of equality, but I have issues with marriage.

You know the drill: “Traditional marriage is a contract between a man and a woman.”

But why? Why can’t two women have a contract? Why can’t too men? It never really made sense. And why should I care about what goes on behind closed doors in someone else’s bedroom?

I think the problem with my understanding comes because of the general emphasis on the “man and woman” part. It’s the contract we need to be looking at.

What exactly is a marriage contract anyway?

And then I fond myself reading an article about traditional marriage in some 3rd world country and the light bulb suddenly came on.

Traditional marriage is a contract.

It goes something like this. A young girl is getting on in years – 12, 13, 14 and possibly becoming a handful – or maybe just eating a little more than her fair share of the family food. So mom and dad put out feelers and find someone who will take their daughter off their hands – possibly in return for something to help them feed the rest of their family… a couple goats, a cow…

Yes, welcome to traditional marriage… a contract (like a bill of sale) between a man and a woman’s parents.

Of course, in the United States we are decades, possibly even a century or two away from this kind of tradition. But look again at those who talk the longest and loudest about the sanctity of marriage…does their marriage look more like a partnership or a bill of sale?

So my issue is not with equality – but with marriage.  There are a lot of people who don’t want to “redefine” marriage.  I suspect that it is more about the contract than about the participants.

How long has it been since the last 911 call that didn’t get answered because the woman was calling about her husband?  And you know, husbands have certain rights…

Essentially, a man can do what he wants with his property.

As much as I’d like to see marriage redefined, it will take generations before that definition could sink in… if ever.

I think it would be better to ban marriage as a human rights violation and start over with something new.  Something different.  Something that clarifies the nature of that “contract”.

I like the term “domestic partnership”… it’s a good start.  We should be promoting a more equal partnership for all couples whether they are the same sex or not.  If “civil unions” or “domestic partnerships” were the recognized relationship for ALL couples then I think many of the related issues about hospital visits or insurance would get cleared up pretty quickly.