Author Archives: darrke

Alienating Women and Anyone Who Has Ever Paid Child Support…

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It’s hard to believe the republicans are so desperate to show that they are NOT OBAMA that they are attacking birth control as evil.  It’s somehow against their religious freedom to allow insurance companies to cover it.

Okay, I know there are some religions that frown on birth control.  Catholics in particular are rumored to believe that every sex act should result in a baby and no one should be having sex unless they want that baby.  And sex itself is a necessary evil.  I’m surprised the Catholic church is against artificial insemination (I believe I also heard THAT rumor a few years ago).  You’d think a nice, non-sex, way to have babies would be a great thing for a religion like that.  But it turns out they prefer the old-fashioned way even if it is kind of icky and sinful.

The problem as I see it is that not every one in America is Catholic.

Not to mention a good percentage of American Catholics aren’t exactly on the bandwagon about the no birth control – impossibly big family plan that the Catholic church proposes.

So what about all the other Americans?  What about the Methodists and Baptist and Atheists?  Are they supposed to be force to give up sex or have big families too?

What about the idea – I hate to mention it, but I can’t help myself – that big families are supposed to help your religion grow and fill the earth?  Wouldn’t it be kind of counter-productive to have other people also having lots of babies who were not going to be raised Catholic?

Okay, so it’s primarily a woman’s health issue.  Some women, as it turns out, want to do something other than live out their lives as breeding stock.  Some women are not actually built to be able to get pregnant and give birth and die trying.  Some realize that’s not a good idea medically and prefer not to die trying.  Some are single and need to support themselves and don’t think they can afford children.

So let’s cry about the evils of birth control and alienate all the women.  Hey, maybe we can even go back to the good old days when women weren’t allowed to vote!

But what about the men?

Have you ever heard of a father who didn’t like having to pay child support?  It seems like this birth control issue might be a problem for those deadbeat dads – and more of a problem for the dads who are struggling to keep up with their child support payments.

And what about the married men?  Ever think that they might want to quit after a child or two and have a little money left over for household repairs, vacations, or maybe a sports car?  (Well, they could give up sex… I guess.  But that doesn’t seem likely.)

No.  The birth control issue makes for some great headlines, but I can’t see it making much headway with thinking people around the country.

It’s so much cheaper to get birth control than an abortion.  And cheaper than paying for delivering a baby.  Not to mention raising a child and sending him/her to college some day.

As much sense as it seems to make to cover a preventative treatment like birth control, a friend of mine brought out the big guns the other day and had to mention how birth control was not a constitutional right.  I’m not sure why that’s relevant.  Neither is treatment for cancer, high blood pressure, or even band-aids to the best of my knowledge. And yet, that same friend didn’t seem to be saying that we should eliminate all health care in the country.

I suppose that’s just eliminate health care for those who can’t afford to pay for it themselves.  Of course, he’s ex-military, so he has pretty good health care already paid for by the US tax payers.  And he probably doesn’t need birth control either.

Paint me frustrated.

 

If…

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Mitt Romney doesn’t care about the very poor.  Of course, he’s not the incredibly insensitive asshole that makes him out to be.  He only meant to say that there are programs in place to take care of the very poor people in our country.

What gets me is that he says, “IF there are holes” in that safety net.

Of course there are holes.  We have veterans and college graduates living on the streets.  Not that I think there are people who deserve to be homeless.  But even if it was a matter of being responsible and “working” and “making good choices.”  So many people have done that and yet – somehow they fall through these cracks.

IF they exist.

I hope this statement isn’t forgotten too soon and that we will hear a lot of talk, and see it followed up with some action.  There are holes in the safety net.  There are too many people who are homeless or hungry.  We do need to make changes.

Kidney for Sale…

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Well, one more job interview has come and gone.  Not to me, but to someone with just a little more experience in that one vital thing that they were really hoping for. Even though they liked me and I had some really great experience, I just got edged out by that “slightly more and better” candidate.

There may be another job opening this summer.

In the meantime, every job I apply for seems to go this way.  Most of them like me, but there are just so many people looking right now that I find myself coming in second (or maybe third) all the time.  And meanwhile, I’ve used up my life savings, cashed in the retirement funds – and nearly spent all that too.

How do you hold out another 6 months – keep your family fed… ???

So my kid and I came up with this great idea the other night.  I happen to have an extra kidney.  It seems to be in pretty good shape, at least it’s keeping me healthy.  Why not sell it?  Anyone need a kidney?  Would it be worth paying my living expenses so I can keep looking for work for another year?

Just thinking…

The Problem with Marriage Equality

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Why can’t gay couples get married like anyone else? It’s taken me a long time and a lot of thought to finally sort it out for myself. I want to be in favor of equality, but I have issues with marriage.

You know the drill: “Traditional marriage is a contract between a man and a woman.”

But why? Why can’t two women have a contract? Why can’t too men? It never really made sense. And why should I care about what goes on behind closed doors in someone else’s bedroom? Continue reading →

Take a Shower and Get a Job

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Don’t I wish it was that easy?  I’ve been looking for a job for over a year and only managed to land one very temporary position that lasted for 2 months.

And I SWEAR… I take showers (especially before interviews)…

Still, with or without a shower, jobs aren’t that easy to find.  Rumor has it there are 6 people looking for every opening in my town.

I’ve got a college degree too.  And no, I haven’t gotten around to putting my application in at McDonalds or Walmart yet.  I’ve been focusing on jobs that I’m qualified to do.  And while I think that with my degree in IT I could learn to operate a cash register – even the kind with pictures instead of numbers – I have not got any real retail or fast food experience to help me get a foot in the door.

What about volunteer work?

Turns out you have to apply for THAT too.  And it helps to know someone… and be patient.  After 6 months of waiting I’m finally getting to do an orientation for a volunteer slot that has a 3 month commitment.

And I’m going to run completely out of money soon.  In 2 months I may not have a house to live in.  And how is that going to sit with my volunteer position – if I suddenly find myself with out a shower to take?

Yep, I’m headed down that road to becoming a “homeless bum”.  Me, and my 12-year-old son.  You might wonder why his dad doesn’t help – but dad’s been out of work for 3 years, run out of unemployment benefits, and can’t get on disability (which he really SHOULD qualify for) even though his health issues are probably the reason he can’t find work.

People just don’t want to take the risk of someone who might get sick being in their health insurance pool.

I wonder where people who think that their smart-ass comments like “take a shower and get a job” will take this country if we give them a chance?  Will things get better?  For whom?

Or will they get honest and quietly open a place to dispose of those of us people that have somehow fallen through the cracks no matter how hard we tried to do the right thing?

Improving Your Self-Esteem

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Your self-esteem is your opinion of yourself.  It’s not dependant on whether you are short or tall.  It depends on how you feel about being short or tall.  It can even depend on your definition of where short stops and tall begins.

These judgements that we make about ourselves (and often others as well) are the foundation of our self-esteem.  Have you heard the Bible saying… “Judge not least ye be judged?”  It doesn’t only apply to religion, God, or your neighbors judging you.  It also applies to how you judge yourself. Continue reading →

One Way to Cure the Economy ASAP

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We all know that the real unemployment figures aren’t near 10%, they are really closer to 25% when you count people who have given up looking, run out of benefits, or are other wise not “in the system.”  So why not spread the work that is available around to everyone who wants to work?

One way to put everyone back to work quickly would be to cut the work week by that same 25%, or to create a mandatory 30-hour work week. Continue reading →

The Secret to Self-Improvement

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How to Get Better at Anything…

  • Practice, practice, practice.
  • Be willing to fail.
  • Be able to get up and try again after you fail.
  • Never, never, never give up.

The one skill that I am most proud of is my typing speed.  I can type about 65wpm.  That’s pretty good.  It stops people in their tracks from time to time as they walk by my desk to stand and stare, and too often comment about how fast I type.

The truth is, I’m amazed too.

You see, I took typing as a freshman in high school.  I was pretty motivated since at the time I hoped to grow up and become a

writer, or maybe a reporter some day.  I thought typing would be a good thing to know how to do in that career.  So I signed up and started class.

And luckily for me, the teacher really liked me.  I wasn’t very good at typing.  I got a D-.  While I wasn’t good at typing, I was good at math, and I know that I didn’t actually earn that D!  By the end of the semester I could type about 25 words a minute as long as I was looking at my fingers.  When I looked at the book like I was supposed to I either slowed down to 10wpm or got so many errors that my net speed was less than zero.

I was the worst typist on the face of the earth… or at least in the running.

I took typing again in college.  The course was graded on your ability to improve your typing speed.  I got a B.  Good thing the teacher warned us about going slow on the first timed test or I may have flunked again.

And again, I took a typing class at a trade school and dropped out before I got through the class.

And another trade school where I barely managed to get through the course with 30wpm.  It was a self-paced course with about 30 classes.  I spent as much time getting through that typing class as I did on all the others combined.

So how can I type so fast now?

When I was pregnant with my first child I spent the last few months of my pregnancy at home… playing “letter invaders.”  It was a video game and it helped pass days that would otherwise have been boring.  There were no teachers, no grades.  Just an endless stream of alien ships dropping letters and words on Earth… with only me to protect the world. ;)

One factor in my success was less pressure.  I was just playing, so it didn’t matter if I failed.  I could always start the game over.  In fact, I could even manage to turn the computer off without saving and pretend the whole round never happened if I wanted to.

The other factor was practice. Practice, practice, and more practice.  I spent at least 40 hours a week playing for about 3 months.  And I was not typing 65 words a minute back then.  I was averaging just over 40… the cut off point a lot of temp agencies had back then for administrative assistant jobs.  I’d managed to get and even keep a few because I had other computer skills that compensated for my unfortunate fingers.

So I started working full-time in jobs that required typing.  And gradually, over YEARS, my speed came up to the point that people walking down the hall will stop and stare at my fingers flying over the keyboard.

Typing may not be my most impressive skill. But it is the one I’m most proud of.  That’s because I worked so hard to achieve it.

In everyone’s life, some things come easy and others barely come if at all.

One way to deal with that is to only pursue the things you are good at and give up on any interests that don’t come naturally to you.

The other way to deal with it is to pursue your dreams with the determination that you will keep trying no matter how many times you fail and find ways to overcome any road blocks.

Best Prayers to Teach Your Children

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Why Do We Pray?

Some of my Christian friends enjoy the quote, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” It would seem that even those who don’t believe in God can find themselves in a circumstance that inspires prayer.

Prayers can be part of your religious tradition. You may say them at holidays, bedtime, or mealtime. Some people pray best by singing or humming, others by sitting still and quiet and “listening”.

In it’s most basic form, prayer makes us feel more connected. Connected to God if we believe in God. Connected to the universe or some kind of life force. Connected to our family, friends, community.

Prayer can ease our worries. It can help us focus on our desires. Or prayer can inspire use to new insights. We can find solutions to problems, learn to forgive ourselves or others, or find peace of mind.

You Want to be a Good Parent

So why teach a child to pray? Well, because you want to be a good parent.

For many people, especially those raised in a strong religious tradition, teaching their children to pray is one of a long list of “shoulds”.

When I was about 5 years old. I asked my mother to teach me to pray. I think that put her on the spot. I could sense it made her uncomfortable, but at 5 I was very persistant. My efforts finally got a cute little poem that I could say at bedtime.

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord, my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray the Lord, my soul to take.”

It seems strange to me now that at 5 years old I wouldn’t be satisfied with this answer, especially in a family that was known to use some funny prayers at times.  I was happier when later that year a Sunday School teacher explained that prayer was just talking to God. Just like we would talk to anyone else.

If you think that 5 is too young to teach a child to pray, you may be right. You know your children better than anyone else. But that was about the same age that my children asked me to teach them to pray. I shared my Sunday School teacher’s advice with them, not my mothers.

The hardest part though, is setting an example. I’m pretty sure that my mother did not say cute little poems for her prayers. But prayer can be a very personal thing, and you may not feel comfortable praying in front of your children. Even if it is uncomfortable, many times your example is the best teacher of all.

Our Prayers Reflect Our Religious Faith

Most religions have some form of prayer. What we teach our children depends a lot on how we were raised and what we believe now.

Muslims, for example, have a very strict way of praying. They pray 5 times a day, and with a lot of ceremony. I think it must be easy to teach a Muslim child to pray because there is such a structured way of doing it.

Catholics have it easy too. They have books of standard prayers that children (and adults) can memorize for just about every imaginable situation.

With traditional religions like this there is so much form to prayer that they seem very confident they are “doing it right”. This confidence has to make it easier to teach your child to pray. If you know what you are doing, and are comfortable doing it, then your kid won’t pick up on the discomfort I got from my mother.

If you are part of a less structured religious faith, then the best advice I can offer is to become comfortable with your own style of prayer first. Once you feel good about how you pray, teach your child to do what you are doing. Let them see you pray. Let them hear the kind of things you pray for.

 

Teach Your Children to Pray While They are Young

Traditional Prayers

One of the most famous Christian prayers is “The Lord’s Prayer”. This is the prayer that was recorded in the New Testement when Jesus’ disciples asked him how to pray. And it is a favorite topic of sermons on how to pray.

Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed by they name. They kingdom come, they will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the glory and honor forever. Amen.

 

  • Prayers for Children
    Lot’s of those “cute little poems” my mother tried to teach me. Enjoy the inspirational words of short Prayers for Children.
  • 3360 Catholic Prayers
    The world’s largest collection of Catholic prayers. Prayers on perseverance, peace, love, devotion, and many more topics. Offers prayers in English, French, Latin, and English.
  • Jewish Prayers
    Prayers for various occasions: Grace after meals, blessings, and many other occasions. Transliterated Hebrew and English translations.
  • How to Perform the Salaat – Islamic Prayer
    How to perform the Islamic Prayer. Muslims pray in Arabic. There are mp3 files and transliterated prayers as well as the English translations.
  • Prayers for Indian Children
    Hindu prayers for all occassions in Sanskrit with English translation and mp3 files.
  • Buddhist Prayers
    A few commonly recited Mahayana prayers are presented in Chinese and English.
  • Beliefnet Prayer Search
    Prayers from many faiths and for many purposes. This is a very cool search engine just for prayers. Pick a faith, a reason for prayer, or a phrase you may remember from a prayer you heard.

Song as Prayer

In some cultures and religions prayers are changed or sung instead of “said”.

This can help in remembering words if you are trying to get your child to memorize a prayer.

It can also help to release the feelings in your heart if you add music to your prayer.  It may be instrumental music that matches your mood.  Or it may beinspirational songs that help you get centered and focus on the things you are grateful for, or the things you are trying to achieve in your personal growth.

 

Native American Prayer Song

Meditation as Prayer

Meditatoin is sometimes described as just sitting, or breathing.

I like to think of meditation as the “listening” side of prayer.  Sure there are things I want, things I feel I need to say.  But the most rewarding time of prayer (for me) is when I feel like I’ve been inspired with some new thought or new way of seeing a situation.

Meditation is also a very good way to relieve stress, elinimate worry, and achieve peace of mind.

And meditation can be very hard for a young child to learn!!

On the other hand, it can be rewarding for a parent to be able to have a little peace and quiet while her child is “meditating”.

Ideas About Teaching Children to Pray from the Heart

Prayers From the Heart

Whatever method of prayer you choose, prayers mean most when they come from the heart.

I enjoyed the video above, in spite of it’s being an advertisement because there were so many helpful moments where we see how this woman gets kids to think and talk about praying.

For some parents, your kids may make your job easier by asking how to pray.  But if you are trying teach your child how to pray when they have not asked, then warming up to the conversation can be a good way to start.  Practicing talking about things like what you are grateful for, or just having a conversation with another person can build a foundation for understanding and learning the best prayers… the spontaneous prayers from the heart.

If Only There Was An Award For Starting Over!

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I would win it.  I’m sure I could.  The one thing my friends and family always seem to say is how no matter what I pick myself up and keep going.  (That’s when they are trying to be nice…)

Things go wrong for everyone.  I used to get stressed when they did.  But now I look at my failures not just for lessons to learn (about what not to do) but also for opportunities.

The truth is, I like starting over.  I do it a lot when I’m playing my favorite computer game.  I like to try different things.  Sometimes I try to do things better, but sometimes I just want to see what would happen if I did something really outrageous. (Like start a nuclear war… it’s just a video game after all.)

Life would be more fun if we could look at it like a video game and not like “life and death” all the time.  There are a lot of things in life that really aren’t “life and death,” and yet we treat them like they are.

Failure is just a chance to begin again, to rebuild and do things better this time.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a server crash (like the one that has me rebuilding this website), a failed marriage, a missed rent payment, or a lost job.  We can always go forward and make things better.

You can find a better spouse.  It’s true.  If your marriage failed than the one you left (or who left you) wasn’t really that great in the first place.  We all deserve someone who can love us for who we really are.  How many failed marriages are the result of people who are trying (and failing) to be someone that they are not… but someone who will please their spouse?

And jobs, well, I know they are tought to find these days, but there are always better jobs out there.  And if there isn’t a better job, then maybe you can make a better job by starting your own business and doing things the way you think they should be done.  Maybe even doing things you love to do?

If you are trying to cope with a failure in your life, or to pick up the pieces and start over, don’t be afraid to enjoy the process and believe that the new life you are beginnig will be even better than the old life that wasn’t working out that great anyway.

It can be better.  You can make it better.  And you can let go of any guilt or depression or embarassment that you are feeling over the old stuff that didn’t work out.  Just imagine if there was an award for starting over… now, go win that award!

Creating a Budget You Can Live With

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You Don’t Have to be Afraid of Your Budget

You don’t have to be afraid of your budget.  When people think about budgeting, they automatically begin to think about cutting their spending.

Budgeting is knowing how you spend your money and spending it that way on purpose.  If you create your budget with this in mind you can relieve your guilt over spending rather than increase it.

Start with what you spend now.

If you don’t know, then track your spending for a month.  Organize all your purchases into categories and see how much you spend in each category.

Compare the total spending to your total income.

This is a discovery phase.  Don’t worry if your spending is more than you make.  Maybe that is why you think you need a budget.

Just look at the US Governemnt though… not all budgets balance.

The main thing is to know how much you are spending and what you are spending it on.

Compare Your Spending To Your Income

The second step to creating a budget you can live on is to compare your spending to your income. Is it more or less? I’m not going to make assumptions here. You are surviving life so far, so there is a good chance you are already spending less than you make.

If you aren’t, then you have to decide whether you want to decrease your spending or increase your income. Even if you have a balanced budget now, are you able to spend your money on the thing you really want? If not, then look for ways to increase your income.  (See the top 10 ways to increase your income below.)

Plan Your Spending

Some people prefer to think of their budget as a “spending plan.”

You will also want to look at how comfortable you are with your current spending patterns. Are there items you want, but put off every month because you don’t feel like you have enough money? Or maybe there are items you buy on impulse, without considering if you have enough money or not?

Once you see what you are spending, you can begin to make your choices more consciously. Moving things around on paper gives you a chance to use the money you have to provide more of the things you really want. Maybe you can cut back on your impulse spending in order to have a little left over for some of the luxuries you’ve been putting off.

Top 10 Ways to Spend Less Money

  1. Move in with your parents. Okay, that’s a little extreme and it won’t help your parent’s budget that much. But look at your housing situation. Can you live cheaper, can you get a roommate or take in a boarder? Consider creative alternatives to your current living situation.
  2. Sell your car. How much of your budget goes to feeding your car? You can sell your car and save money on car payments, insurance, and gas. Compare that to a bus pass.
  3. Go on a diet. I’m not talking about the kind of diet where you quit eating, but more like giving up something for lent, whether it’s fast food or the magazines from the checkout, or HBO.  Look for the extras in your life that aren’t giving you as much pleasure as they should for the money you spend on them.  Cut them out for a while and save the money instead.
  4. Get religion.(It doesn’t have to be God, but the same kind of passion and intensity for a cause can help. Get involved in making the world a better place. People who are actively engaged in a cause don’t have as much time to worry about keeping up with the neighbors, or finding something to do for entertainment on the weekend.
  5. Get organized. You can find things you’ve lost.  You can save by making one trip to the store instead of 10. You can restore some of those old treasures and start using them again, or sell them to someone who will.
  6. Be content with what you have.
  7. Buy it used. Spend some time at the second hand store or a yard sale and see what you can save by recycling used items.
  8. “Use it up, Wear it out, Make it do, or do without.”
  9. Enjoy life more… the simple pleasures that are free.
  10. Eliminate waste. Turn it off when your done with it. Find good ways to make meals from leftovers. Look at everything twice before your throw it away… what else could this be good for?

Top 10 Ways to Make More Money

  1. Ask for a raise or a promotion.
  2. Get a better job.
  3. Get a second job.
  4. Do odd jobs. Mow lawns. Babysit. Wash windows.
  5. Start your own business. Make crafts or cookies and sell them online or at a flea market.
  6. Look for residual incomeopportunities. Write some hubs. Build your own website.
  7. Quit saving or investing and start trading. This applies to day trading stocks or options, flipping real estate, or flipping websites.
  8. Sell stuff you don’t use. Sell stuff your friends & neighbors don’t use. Shop yard sales and then resell the items you purchase oneBay.
  9. Win the lottery.
  10. Get creative… write a book, paint something, take some photos or videos. Find a way to market the results. Think about the useless things that people made a fortune on. Pet rocks? What about a little book about “Everything Men Know about Women.” It was blank on the inside and made the author a small fortune. A friend of mine even sold a fart on eBay for $39.95!

What to do if Your Employer Doesn’t Pay

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My Employer Didn’t Pay Me What He Owed

I’m 45-years-old and I’ve had more employers than I can remember. This is the first time I’ve ever had one who didn’t pay me what he owed. It just seems like there should be something that you can do. I mean, you did the work, right? You should get paid.

I asked this question a couple weeks ago hoping that someone here might have some experience, but the answers were mostly guesses. I did continue to look for answers though. I mean really, I figure the guy owes me about $2500 … that’s worth a day’s research, don’t you think?

Oregon State Employment Laws

Most states have similar laws, but you will want to find out how your state may differ from Oregon.

In Oregon, your employer is required to give you your final check on the day you quit… if you gave him at least 48 hours notice. If you quit without notice he has 48 hours to get you your final check. They are required to mail the check too.

In addition to your pay, you may be entitled to “penalty wages.” For every day past this cut-off the employer is responsible to pay you up to 8 hours at your regular rate. Unfortunately, you have to sue them to collect the extra wages, and it caps out at 100% of the amount owed in your final check.

I also learned that a lot of excuses like “they didn’t give notice” or “they didn’t return their tools” don’t help the employer out legally. You did the work, they owe you the money. Your responsibility is to provide proof that you were an employee and what hours you worked there.

If you are thinking about quiting your job you may want to start copying your time card, receipts, or anything else that might help you verify your employment. Make sure you have the name address and phone number of a few co-workers – especially one would be willing to sign a statement that you really did work there your final few days or weeks.

Filing a Wage Claim Form

There is a form that you fill out to get the state to collect your wages for you. It also becomes a matter of public record. Even if you don’t want to be bothered, or maybe you aren’t owed that much, but at least it can serve as a warning to other people who are researching the bum as a potential employer. You can also file a claim against an employer for not paying on time, not paying over-time, etc. You may not be able to collect money, but you can make the complaint part of the public record so other people will be warned about the company or person who has not paid you what you earned.

In my case, I told my employer that I was filling out the forms and he mysteriously appeared on my doorstep two days later (in spite of supposedly being broken down in Georgia…???) with a check in hand. The amount is still in dispute, but he’s bending over backwards to try to make me happy with the pay before I actually mail in this claim. Don’t know what the state would do to him, but I guess he doesn’t want to find out.

I may still file a claim for the “late” issue though. People really ought to be able to find out about this kind of thing before they accept a job.

Where to Find Help

What’s your issue?

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Are you…

…too fat? … too thin?
…too short? … too tall?
…too smart? … too stupid?
…too mean? … too nice?
…too quiet? … too loud?
…too rich? … too poor?
…too early? … too late?

Maybe you notice, like me, that all of thses “issues” start with the same word… “too”.

One of the reasons that we have issues with ourselves is that we are always comparing ourselves to others, and most often to some non-existant standard of perfection. How can one girl who is 5’7″ say she is too tall, while another girl who is 5’7″ thinks she is too short?

The problem with our image issues is one of judgement as often as one of actual fact.

In spite of the fact our “toos” are mostly in our minds, we let our self-perception influence our actions.

I’d invite you over, but my house is too messy.
I’d apply for that job, but I’m too stupid.
I’d say hello to that cute guy, but I’m too fat.

Declaring Bankruptcy to get Out of Debt

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Bankruptcy is Something to Avoid

The problem is, most people think that declaring bankruptcy is the problem. The real problem is when you are bankrupt… whether you admit it or not.

We are lucky that the founding fathers of our country were aware of the problems that come with bankruptcy. Back in England there were debtor’s prisons where they put people who couldn’t pay their bills. Instead of creating a system like England though, they provided for laws to discharge debts when they got to be too much to handle.

While it’s better to avoid going into debt in the first place, sometimes it’s not possible. There are people who have unavoidable circumstances… especially with medical bills. How do you avoid going into debt if you are injured in a car accident, taken to the hospital, and treated while you are unconscious. When you wake up, you find out you owe more than you make in a year, maybe even more than you make in a decade!

Not everyone who is bankrupt is so totally bameless though. Most of us are tempted by offers of credit at one point or another. We buy houses, cars, go to college, need to replace a broken freezer before our food thaws out and spoils. It seems like a good deal at the time. We have plenty of income to make payments when we get into the debt. But then something happens to that income. We get laid off or fired. Our next job only pays half what the last one did.

The Only Way to Avoid Bankruptcy

The only way you can be 100% sure to avoid becoming bankrupt is to avoid going into debt in the first place.

If you have and debts at all, then there is always a possibility that some change in your life circumstances will make it impossible for you to repay them. If you don’t want to go bankrupt then get out of debt as quickly as possible and make every effort to avoid any future credit.

According to the US Debt Clock the average consumer debt per person in America is over $52,000.  The average household income is only around $45,000 and many of those households have more than one person in them!  This would suggest that most Americans are probably bankrupt, even if they haven’t filed any legal documents to make it official.

Judge Not, Least Ye Be Judged

I hear too many people complaining about the deadbeats that file bankruptcy.  It seems to me like and alcoholic complaining about someone who goes to AA.  Most of us normal folks are just one accident away from being forced into bankruptcy ourselves.  Not everyone can be Bill Gates of Donald Trump.  And I’m not going to be suprised if we see one of these big names in bankruptcy either.

There is something fundamentally wrong with how our economy works.

People “need” to go into debt in order to survive.  They pay for their education with loans so they can get a decent job. Then they pay for their groceries with credit cards because the decent job doesn’t quite cover their household expenses.  They need a car to get to work, so they take out a car loan.  And they need to buy a home of their own to be respectable (or because the mortgage payments are cheaper than rent…)

If someone does manage to keep on top of all their bills then they have a right to feel proud of their accomplishment.  It’s not easy to keep up.  And many people get depressed and give up because they can’t pay ALL the bills every month.

I wish that we could find a way to fix the system instead of judging the people who fail to keep their finances together, or even blaming them for being the problem.

If you are bankrupt… if you don’t earn enough to pay your bills every month and just keep falling farther and farther behind.  Bankruptcy is still an option.  It’s better to file as soon as you realize you are bankrupt than to wait until you have used up your last dime trying to get out of debt.

If you aren’t bankrupt yet, then take steps to eliminate debt form your life.  Get out of debt and stay out of debt.  Keep in mind that bad things happen to even the best people and try to be prepared for personal emergencies.

Do You Have to be Dishonest to be a Politician?

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I have a work friend who recently ran for office. He is one of the BEST people I know. I would give him high marks for honesty.  So yes, honest people can get into politics.  I would even say many start out honest.

Throughout the campaign, I saw that getting into politics was very stressful. Near the end of the race he commented to me that, “it’s not hard to believe people who get into politics become corrupt, it’s a miracle if they don’t”. Continue reading →