Okay, I know there are some religions that frown on birth control.  Catholics in particular are rumored to believe that every sex act should result in a baby and no one should be having sex unless they want that baby.  And sex itself is a necessary evil.  I’m surprised the Catholic church is against artificial insemination (I believe I also heard THAT rumor a few years ago).  You’d think a nice, non-sex, way to have babies would be a great thing for a religion like that.  But it turns out they prefer the old-fashioned way even if it is kind of icky and sinful.

The problem as I see it is that not every one in America is Catholic.

Not to mention a good percentage of American Catholics aren’t exactly on the bandwagon about the no birth control – impossibly big family plan that the Catholic church proposes.

So what about all the other Americans?  What about the Methodists and Baptist and Atheists?  Are they supposed to be force to give up sex or have big families too?

What about the idea – I hate to mention it, but I can’t help myself – that big families are supposed to help your religion grow and fill the earth?  Wouldn’t it be kind of counter-productive to have other people also having lots of babies who were not going to be raised Catholic?

Okay, so it’s primarily a woman’s health issue.  Some women, as it turns out, want to do something other than live out their lives as breeding stock.  Some women are not actually built to be able to get pregnant and give birth and die trying.  Some realize that’s not a good idea medically and prefer not to die trying.  Some are single and need to support themselves and don’t think they can afford children.

So let’s cry about the evils of birth control and alienate all the women.  Hey, maybe we can even go back to the good old days when women weren’t allowed to vote!

But what about the men?

Have you ever heard of a father who didn’t like having to pay child support?  It seems like this birth control issue might be a problem for those deadbeat dads – and more of a problem for the dads who are struggling to keep up with their child support payments.

And what about the married men?  Ever think that they might want to quit after a child or two and have a little money left over for household repairs, vacations, or maybe a sports car?  (Well, they could give up sex… I guess.  But that doesn’t seem likely.)

No.  The birth control issue makes for some great headlines, but I can’t see it making much headway with thinking people around the country.

It’s so much cheaper to get birth control than an abortion.  And cheaper than paying for delivering a baby.  Not to mention raising a child and sending him/her to college some day.

As much sense as it seems to make to cover a preventative treatment like birth control, a friend of mine brought out the big guns the other day and had to mention how birth control was not a constitutional right.  I’m not sure why that’s relevant.  Neither is treatment for cancer, high blood pressure, or even band-aids to the best of my knowledge. And yet, that same friend didn’t seem to be saying that we should eliminate all health care in the country.

I suppose that’s just eliminate health care for those who can’t afford to pay for it themselves.  Of course, he’s ex-military, so he has pretty good health care already paid for by the US tax payers.  And he probably doesn’t need birth control either.

Paint me frustrated.

What gets me is that he says, “IF there are holes” in that safety net.

Of course there are holes.  We have veterans and college graduates living on the streets.  Not that I think there are people who deserve to be homeless.  But even if it was a matter of being responsible and “working” and “making good choices.”  So many people have done that and yet – somehow they fall through these cracks.

IF they exist.

I hope this statement isn’t forgotten too soon and that we will hear a lot of talk, and see it followed up with some action.  There are holes in the safety net.  There are too many people who are homeless or hungry.  We do need to make changes.

There may be another job opening this summer.

In the meantime, every job I apply for seems to go this way.  Most of them like me, but there are just so many people looking right now that I find myself coming in second (or maybe third) all the time.  And meanwhile, I’ve used up my life savings, cashed in the retirement funds – and nearly spent all that too.

How do you hold out another 6 months – keep your family fed… ???

So my kid and I came up with this great idea the other night.  I happen to have an extra kidney.  It seems to be in pretty good shape, at least it’s keeping me healthy.  Why not sell it?  Anyone need a kidney?  Would it be worth paying my living expenses so I can keep looking for work for another year?

Just thinking…

You know the drill: “Traditional marriage is a contract between a man and a woman.”

But why? Why can’t two women have a contract? Why can’t too men? It never really made sense. And why should I care about what goes on behind closed doors in someone else’s bedroom?

I think the problem with my understanding comes because of the general emphasis on the “man and woman” part. It’s the contract we need to be looking at.

What exactly is a marriage contract anyway?

And then I fond myself reading an article about traditional marriage in some 3rd world country and the light bulb suddenly came on.

Traditional marriage is a contract.

It goes something like this. A young girl is getting on in years – 12, 13, 14 and possibly becoming a handful – or maybe just eating a little more than her fair share of the family food. So mom and dad put out feelers and find someone who will take their daughter off their hands – possibly in return for something to help them feed the rest of their family… a couple goats, a cow…

Yes, welcome to traditional marriage… a contract (like a bill of sale) between a man and a woman’s parents.

Of course, in the United States we are decades, possibly even a century or two away from this kind of tradition. But look again at those who talk the longest and loudest about the sanctity of marriage…does their marriage look more like a partnership or a bill of sale?

So my issue is not with equality – but with marriage.  There are a lot of people who don’t want to “redefine” marriage.  I suspect that it is more about the contract than about the participants.

How long has it been since the last 911 call that didn’t get answered because the woman was calling about her husband?  And you know, husbands have certain rights…

Essentially, a man can do what he wants with his property.

As much as I’d like to see marriage redefined, it will take generations before that definition could sink in… if ever.

I think it would be better to ban marriage as a human rights violation and start over with something new.  Something different.  Something that clarifies the nature of that “contract”.

I like the term “domestic partnership”… it’s a good start.  We should be promoting a more equal partnership for all couples whether they are the same sex or not.  If “civil unions” or “domestic partnerships” were the recognized relationship for ALL couples then I think many of the related issues about hospital visits or insurance would get cleared up pretty quickly.

And I SWEAR… I take showers (especially before interviews)…

Still, with or without a shower, jobs aren’t that easy to find.  Rumor has it there are 6 people looking for every opening in my town.

I’ve got a college degree too.  And no, I haven’t gotten around to putting my application in at McDonalds or Walmart yet.  I’ve been focusing on jobs that I’m qualified to do.  And while I think that with my degree in IT I could learn to operate a cash register – even the kind with pictures instead of numbers – I have not got any real retail or fast food experience to help me get a foot in the door.

What about volunteer work?

Turns out you have to apply for THAT too.  And it helps to know someone… and be patient.  After 6 months of waiting I’m finally getting to do an orientation for a volunteer slot that has a 3 month commitment.

And I’m going to run completely out of money soon.  In 2 months I may not have a house to live in.  And how is that going to sit with my volunteer position – if I suddenly find myself with out a shower to take?

Yep, I’m headed down that road to becoming a “homeless bum”.  Me, and my 12-year-old son.  You might wonder why his dad doesn’t help – but dad’s been out of work for 3 years, run out of unemployment benefits, and can’t get on disability (which he really SHOULD qualify for) even though his health issues are probably the reason he can’t find work.

People just don’t want to take the risk of someone who might get sick being in their health insurance pool.

I wonder where people who think that their smart-ass comments like “take a shower and get a job” will take this country if we give them a chance?  Will things get better?  For whom?

Or will they get honest and quietly open a place to dispose of those of us people that have somehow fallen through the cracks no matter how hard we tried to do the right thing?